Transcript: This is your 20 minute podcast with David Brower, and our special guest is Robert “Rocky” Detwiler. There we go. I had to get the Rocky in there, right?
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs). Yes you did.
David Brower: (laughs).
Rocky Detwiler: Yes you did.
David Brower: Good morning as we’re talking. How’s the beautiful city of Boise, Idaho today?
Rocky Detwiler: It really is. It’s a city of trees. It’s a beautiful valley here. We had a tremendous amount of snow this winter. In fact, we broke all records-
David Brower: Wow.
Rocky Detwiler: In the history of, of snow fall.
David Brower: Wow.
Rocky Detwiler: So, but it’s pretty much melted off in the valley, but the hills are still getting a lot of snow. So, so it’s lovely. I love, I love Boise. I love the treasure valley.
David Brower: Absolutely. Absolutely right. Well, and you love what you’ve done with your life, man. I was reading your bio and you’ve been … ESPN said it was one of the most inspiring stories they’ve run across in a long time. And uh-
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah, that’s true.
David Brower: You’ve been on, uh, you’ve been on quite the ride. It says you use a five step process to reclaim your health and fitness, connections and happiness, prosperity and dreams. I mean, if us normal folks could do two, two of those, we’d be pretty happy.
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs). Thank you, yes. Well, we, you know … I, I kept it simple. I’m a farm boy, right? So I was raised on a farm and I figured hey, I wanna keep it simple ’cause I’m a simple guy. And I figured hey, I don’t need seven pillars, or ten pillars. I need three. Three pillars and let me work on these three things. And so that’s what um, we built our … We wrote a book about the three, the three pillars called The Samson Effect and how your life can … you can transform your life with the power of words. It’s the most powerful force in the world, David.
David Brower: No question about that. Absolutely right. So tell me, mean, you have to have … Most of us have to have some kind of a low point to get motivated and to step out of that low point and become what we’re destined to be. What was your story?
Rocky Detwiler: Well my story was that I had chased a dream since I was a kid and that was to retire early. Uh, I heard, I heard on an Amway tape when I was 13, “hey, you’ve arrived when you can retire on, um, the interest of your principle.” And so that’s what I, uh, set out to do. It took a lot of different companies, uh, you know, me experiencing, you know … Not just corporate America but just, you know, companies in general, building, and losing, and failing, and building, and failing, over and over until in my 30s I was able to obtain that, um, that goal. And so I, I did. I was able to kind of retire early and I invested with a close friend of mine. That investment turned out to be one of Arizona’s largest ponzi schemes.
So I became a victim of, you know, one of Arizona’s largest ponzi schemes, and that sent me in a downhill spiral black hole abyss of loss. And, um, and so I ended up losing everything. Home, and land, and possessions, and ended up moving to the state of Washington for, uh, a job opportunity which, uh, that didn’t last. And the company I started to build, that didn’t last anyways. It was just one thing after another and I ended up in a dark place in life, David, where … Is life worth living? I arrived at that place where I was, uh, fat. I didn’t care about my health anymore. I didn’t care about what I was eating. Became very depressed, very lonely, and ultimately ended up in a place of suicide. How do you end all the pain?
David Brower: Right, right.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah.
David Brower: So when you got to that place-
Rocky Detwiler: Right.
David Brower: And a lot of us have been there, whether we’ll admit it or not.
Rocky Detwiler: Uh-huh (affirmative).
David Brower: A lot of us … Personally, I’ve been in that place. So I get it.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah.
David Brower: Um, so when you hit that dark, dark, dark, darker than dark place and you have the epiphany to get out, what, what triggered the … What triggered you to go, “screw this, man. I’m better than this.”
Rocky Detwiler: Well, it was, it was standing, looking in the mirror at that guy looking back in the mirror, which I didn’t want to look at him ’cause he was a failure, and a loser, and an idiot. And you know, I mean all the things that you’re telling yourself, all the negative words you could possibly come up with.
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: But I forced myself to look at, you know, myself in the mirror. I’m just … Tears are streaming down my face, and I was at the point where I had to make a choice. And the choice was I’ve got to decide whether I was gonna live or die. That’s how far I got, and I decided to live. Thank God he was in my life or I wouldn’t be sharing this with you today.
David Brower: Yep.
Rocky Detwiler: And I um, started making simple little changes. That night I went in and I did a little video, and then I wrote a contract to myself. I immediately went downstairs and started getting rid of all the fruity pebbles, and donuts, and junk food. And then the next day I ended up going getting good food. So I didn’t wait. I, I made the decision and then I got after it. I made a commitment to myself, and so if I could say hey, what, what’s the steps, Rocky? Well, the first thing is you gotta make a decision to change. That’s the first thing.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: The second thing is you need, you need to get a plan. So I put a plan together and then I committed to that. And that’s the third thing, is I committed to it. So three simple things. Just go do that and I think you can see positive change. It can happen in relationships. It can happen in business. It can happen with your fitness. And that’s what I did, and things started to change for me.
David Brower: That’s remarkable. It seems to me, and tell me if I’m wrong-
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah.
David Brower: But it seems to me that you … When you were 13-
Rocky Detwiler: Yes.
David Brower: And you heard that Amway tape, you already had a drive in you that was, that was there. I mean, you were, you were driven at a young age, and then when you found that dark, dark, dark place, all of a sudden that drive showed up again.
Rocky Detwiler: Hey, that’s a good point. I’ve been on dozens and dozens of interviews and that’s the first time someone’s actually, uh, pointed that out to me but you’re right. It’s the way I was thinking before and I was able to use that as a, as an anchor if you will, right?
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: That was, um, yeah. That was an anchor in my life and it was the oak tree that, you know, doesn’t, doesn’t wave. And I went back to that anchor and, uh, I dug deep. And I think that, you know, that if you’re human, you want to live. You really do want to live, and mine just happened to be a deep inset, um, belief that there was more to life than what I was seeing that night in the mirror. And I didn’t know it at the time. I didn’t know what my life could bring, but I, I wanted to just, you know, uh, live again to be honest with you. That was the first step, is I wanted to live again.
David Brower: Right, right. Well-
Rocky Detwiler: And, and.
David Brower: You wanted to live again and then you went and got rid of the bad stuff, brought in the new stuff. What I’m really impressed about is you made a contract with yourself.
Rocky Detwiler: Yes. That’s true. We just actually this last weekend, we met with a large organization here in Boise and we had them sign a commitment letter. So I took what I did and I’ve implemented that now into companies. We’re gonna meet with the school, um, here in Boise too at the end of the week and when we bring them on as, uh … Bring on the school, work with the teens, I’m also gonna have them sign commitment letters. So whenever I work with somebody, a company, organization, school, even an individual when I’m coaching them, I always have them sign a commitment letter. You’re gonna sign this yourself. This is like a contract to yourself, as if I, I … If I’m gonna work with you, I want you to commit to you. I’m gonna help.
David Brower: Brilliant.
Rocky Detwiler: I’m gonna be there as an accountability coach, but I, I want you to commit to what you said you were going to do.
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: And that’s what a lot of people don’t do, and it happens all the time. We see it happen all the time, you know? It happens in relationships. Oh, I don’t like it. It’s just, just too hard.
David Brower: Yeah, yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: And they bug out. No, listen. Make a commitment, ’cause that’s the strongest thing you can do in your life is make a commitment to something.
David Brower: And one of the things that we have all done and a lot of us still do, and it makes the news every year at the same time. We make a new year’s resolution, which is not a contract to ourselves, and we go out to the gym for a week and a half, and then we go, “uh, we’re done.”
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs). Hey listen, that’s been happening for a really long time.
David Brower: Right, right.
Rocky Detwiler: It’s, um … Hey, I love to work with those kind of people, you know, that want to make the commitment-
David Brower: (laughs).
Rocky Detwiler: But you know what? That is so true, and that is, um, so correct too. But the gyms love it, right? If you’re on a, you know-
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: A yearly contract.
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: Oh my goodness, make the commitment for a week and then pay us for a, you know, 12 months. That’s good.
David Brower: Oh, exactly right. One of the other thing-
Rocky Detwiler: So there’s the piece of that-
David Brower: Go ahead.
Rocky Detwiler: But yes, that makes sense. Absolutely, very, very important, is that happens all the time. And the more you make a promise to yourself and break it, the easier it is to get out of it, right?
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: It, it becomes norm to just say you’re gonna do something and don’t do it. My goodness, that’s not how my dad was raised.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: Your, your word was your bond.
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: It meant something.
David Brower: We all gravitate to whatever that comfort zone is and we’re … If we’re used to that negative comfort zone, well guess what? That’s where we’re gonna go.
Rocky Detwiler: That’s right. Yep.
David Brower: One of the great things about what you’ve done, uh, and you mentioned it early on when we first started talking, and that is the power of words.
Rocky Detwiler: Yes, oh I love it. Yes.
David Brower: So tell me about that.
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs).
David Brower: Because it looks like you use that in all facets of your, of your communication.
Rocky Detwiler: Well, I, I’m, um, I’m one of the countries foremost experts on the power of words, David. And um, I transformed my life in the three specific areas because I focused on the power of words. It’s the most powerful force in the world. I’ve asked people now. I’ve asked hundreds of thousands if not millions of people, “what’s more powerful than creation?” And I haven’t had anybody say there’s anything more powerful, ’cause it’s the most powerful. So, so if your words create, what’s greater than that?
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: And yet, we yield that power every single day in our lives. We, we … It’s what we say to ourselves. It’s what we say to other people, because our words are carriers of power. They’re god-like. So it’s like a tree. That tree one day was a seed, very similar to the words that we say, the words that we speak. And sometimes we just yield these like, like man, we’re taking out a sword and we’re just cutting our friends up. We’re cutting our family up with these swords. Like there they are, laying on the ground dead, and you just diced them up, but you did it with your words.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: ‘Cause you don’t have to … Nowadays, you don’t have to kill kids, you know, with weapons, right? They don’t have to do it with weapons anymore. They can do it on, just online. They can do it on Facebook. They can do it on Twitter. They can just say something to somebody and before you know it … I mean we live in … We’re in Idaho, so we have, we’re fifth in the nation for teen suicide. It’s, it’s horrible, right?
David Brower: Yeah, yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: I mean, it just-
David Brower: Colorado’s right there. Colorado’s right there with you. I mean, it’s-
Rocky Detwiler: That’s true.
David Brower: It’s unbelievable.
Rocky Detwiler: That’s absolutely true.
David Brower: You know?
Rocky Detwiler: And our program, our program helps solve that problem. We don’t market it as a teen prevention program. We, we market it as, as um, as a leadership program. And everything we do is to power words, because the power of words is the most powerful force in the world. It’s what you’re thinking about. Your thoughts become your words. Then your words create your actions. So, it … I mean, if you think about it, if those two are married, or have boyfriends or girlfriends, or, you know, someone in their life and you just say something and they take it wrong, you just said something.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: But those are words and we take those to heart. You’re like, “oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.” But years later, right, years later … and all of us probably have that example in my life, and I have it in my book. It’s like, “oh, you said … Oh, I thought you meant this.” And you’ve gone years-
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: Because of that wedge that got drove into a relationship, when if we could be really cautious and careful of the words that we say, oh my goodness. How much better off would we be, David?
David Brower: No question about it, and one of … I mean, the easy mantra is think before you speak, right?
Rocky Detwiler: That’s right. Well here’s-
David Brower: Go ahead.
Rocky Detwiler: I’m gonna give you a great example, okay?
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: Um, and I love stories. I love telling stories. Well one of my favorite stories of all time is the story of Andrew. He is um, he’s got a knife to his throat and this is how he was choosing to commit suicide. And before he does this, he has only one thought. He had one thought, and his thought was, “is there any, anybody in my life that just loves and cares about me?” For whatever reason, it was a girl at school that said hi to him, and the second thought was, “I wonder if she’d say hi to me again?” The third thought was, “I wonder if she’d be my friend?” Now that was 12 years ago.
David Brower: Wow.
Rocky Detwiler: Now that’s what I’m talking about. That’s the power of our words.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: And we don’t understand how pow- and now, more today than ever before. So if there are moms and dads listening to this, when I coach the teens and the kids in school, it’s just find some … Find another kid in the school on a daily basis that you can just say hi to. That’s it. You don’t have to strike up a conversation, but here’s what normally happens is the kids strike up conversations with them. We’ve had counselors and teachers across the board in different schools come to these kids that we’ve trained and taught say, “hey, you said hi to this girl and she came to me crying because nobody’s ever said hi to her.” That’s a true story.
David Brower: Wow.
Rocky Detwiler: This happens, but, but what about Walt, who is, you know, greeting you at uh, Walmart, right?
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: And Walt’s 78. I mean, you think we have these opportunities all day long just to encourage and uplift people just by saying hi to them or calling them by their name, David.
David Brower: No question about it. It, it’s … I’ve always, I’ve always been impressed by how strangers that you don’t even know, you’ve never met, can change your life.
Rocky Detwiler: In, in such a fast, quick-
David Brower: Right?
Rocky Detwiler: I mean, we’re talking in a short period of time, too.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: Just a hi, just looking them in the face, just sharing a smile. It’s the simplest little acts of kindness and love-
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: That we can pass along in our day.
David Brower: One of the things about words, that’s, that’s gotten more and more troubling, and I’m sure you’ll agree with this, is, is in texting in particular, email secondarily.
Rocky Detwiler: Yep.
David Brower: Everything is so cryptic and so, so … Can be easily misunderstood and misinterpreted.
Rocky Detwiler: (coughs).
David Brower: In negative ways right off the bat.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah, I write about that in my book as well, that texting? 7% of communication. Seven. That being that 93% of your communication in texting, it’s not even there. Your … so that means 93% of your communication to that other person, they’re not even hearing it. And yet people break up together. I mean, they try and communicate through text and there’s things you can’t say, and you … Yeah.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah, I do.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: And the generation now is growing up with, um, without the face to face, the one on one communication conversation, where it’s texting, it’s on the phone, it’s Facebook. And those people become their friends, and it’s just this façade of relationship building, which it, it, it’s not even really real.
David Brower: No.
Rocky Detwiler: And that’s the sad part of it.
David Brower: It is sad.
Rocky Detwiler: And I don’t mean to come at it from a negative standpoint. I really don’t, because everything we do is positive.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: All of our colors, you know, all of our imaging, our words, our apparel, in our company. But I mean, these are just some of the facts that we have to face, and this is reality of where we are and what we’re dealing with. And so I, I always, I always suggest man, if you can get … If you can get with the person, talk to them. Even on the phone’s better than the texting, and definitely a face to face. There’s just so much to be said about that.
David Brower: No question about it.
Rocky Detwiler: So much to be said, yeah.
David Brower: And the, and of course what dovetails into all of that and, and one of the things that you’ve had … I’m just looking at your bio that you’ve obviously had some success with. Bullying is like crazy.
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs). So bullying is a big deal, too.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: Back to school that we’ve been talking about doing some, some work with to … excuse me, it’s um, it’s actually not a school. It’s actually a um, uh, it’s one of the stations here that, um, is very interested in working with bullying. And that’s a really big thing because bullying … You don’t have to do it in person.
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: That’s the thing. You don’t have to be there in person. You can just bul- bully somebody on social media.
David Brower: Yeah. And then-
Rocky Detwiler: That’s why we’re seeing the bullying rise. That’s why we’re seeing, you know, suicide rates rise, is because they’re, they’re using their words in a destructive way that can hurt and in sometimes, in some cases kill other individuals. ‘Cause you don’t have to kill an individual with a, a weapon. You have … You can do that by, by, killing, um, their influence and their character. And it’s done by words. Oh, it’s so destructive, David.
David Brower: So destructive.
Rocky Detwiler: So we’re on the warpath to help build back and, and encourage and inspire, you know, individual with their words. To uplift people, to encourage them, and to start with yourself. Do the right for yourself first, right?
David Brower: Right.
Rocky Detwiler: And so I always have three things that I like to give out to people, and you can go to our website and you can get this for free. One’s fit to healthy, and it’s a free ebook. We give it to you. It’s 26 pages. We want you to have that for free, David. So that’s rockydetwiler.com. You can also go to our, our, uh, our online site which is Samson.life and Samson is S-A-M-S-O-N.life. And we have three, like three keys to happiness, and we just give them away. You know, go check those out, and they’re simple things that I teach and train people to do, David, that if they did these every day, they’d be happier. They would be healthier individuals, and they’d reach more people.
David Brower: Wow.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah.
David Brower: Folks, again, jot that down. It’s rockydetwiler.com.
Rocky Detwiler: Uh-huh (affirmative).
David Brower: R-O-C-K-Y-D-E-T-W-I-L-E-R.com and then Samson like the character in the Bible.
Rocky Detwiler: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
David Brower: Samson.life and get those, get those free opportunities to get some positive words in your life. And, I mean, words change people’s life, good, bad, or indifferent.
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah.
David Brower: They change us all, don’t they?
Rocky Detwiler: They absolutely do, and David, if there’s people that want a new book to read, they really wanna find that key to transforming their life in any area, they can go on Amazon. And go, go get my book. I really recommend it. There was times like, oh, you know? No, I think you should go get it.
David Brower: Yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: And the reason why is because I really believe it will transform your life. It’s, it’s just a great … It was a [inaudible 00:18:45] book in my opinion, and so, uh, The Sampson Effect is a, is a great book to help transform lives.
David Brower: Well, and there’s, there’s a reason it’s a best selling book. It touches people.
Rocky Detwiler: Thank you, thank you.
David Brower: In a most appropriate way, so, uh-
Rocky Detwiler: Yeah, I appreciate that.
David Brower: God bless you, man. You, uh-
Rocky Detwiler: Hey, thank you.
David Brower: You got a, you got a calling that you’re living and, uh, and I got goosebumps just talking to you.
Rocky Detwiler: (laughs). That awesome man.
David Brower: It’s quite a thrill, yeah.
Rocky Detwiler: I always appreciate the time to get a chance to share, and-
David Brower: Go to rockydetwiler.com and samson.life to download those free tips. Uh, I’m doing to next so that’s cool, man. And be sure to follow us on Facebook at facebook.com/your20minutepodcast.